Awkward Family Photos

In this picture it seems that two grandkids are playing with at their grandparents house. The caption on the picture was 'Grandpa never picked favorites.' The grandpa is holding on of his grandchildren, she is sitting in his lap holding a baby doll. The other grandchild is being tripped by the grandfather. The boy looks younger than the gilr does.
This photograph is funny to me because not only is the grandfather tripping one of the children, he just look slike he really isnt concerned. He isn't even focused on the little boy. The grandpa and the little gilr look so happy and content, while the little boy is about to fall over face first. It seems as if this was just a candid photo.
The caption makes it seem like this is a long story, the little boy could see this as 'I'm not grandpa's favorite', which probably goes back to other instances when the boy was treated unfairly.
As a grand daughter I understand what it is like to think that one of my grandparents may favor my sister over me. Thats why I was interested in this photo. I would secretly love if I was the favorite grandchild.

Introductions and Conclusions

My Introduction:
I hate my introdcution. I am really bad at getting and keeping the readers attention when starting a paper. I really do not have an effective audience grabber, which is something I need to work on. I start my introdcution by making a general claim about the norms and taboos of my culture, but instead I should relate these norms and taboos to a personal or hypothetical story. I have a thesis statement, which isn't exactly necessary for this type of paper, but I think it gives the reader an idea of what I am going to address, and therefore it helps them understand what kind of mind frame to be in when readin gmy paper. My paper is progressional in that I tell a story of how my tatse i nmovies have changed and how that has changed my idea of love and relationships. My introduction works with my progressional style paper, but it just does not get the readers attention.
My Conclusion:
I really like my conclusion, I think that it gives a good summary as to what all my main points in my paper were, and I think it also makes the reader think about their idea of relationships and love and how they really are not fairytales. My last sentence is my favorite sentence in the entire paper, for it concludes everything that the paper is trying to say. While my stance on media changed from the beginning to the end of the paper, my tone does not change too much, which I think makes my conclusion even more effective. I believe that the 'so what' part of my paper is answered, the reader gets to reflect on how their idea of love has changed with time. Overall my conclusion is effective, in my opinion, and it summarizes the paper well.

Peer Review Session

My peer review session went great. I got good and bad feedback, in order to help me create the best paper that I can. While my paper is FAR from perfect, she did mention that my organization was solid, this is something that I will keep the same. Organization is important to me, so I tend yo put emphasis on it when I'm writing. My draft falls short in several aspects, however. Analysis in some sections could be more exsistant, my persona stories and how I have changed have to be expanded. This personal narrative is not so personal, yet. Apparently my paper is funny, but the funny parts are minimal. An expansion of that would also help my reader stay interested in my paper. My main focus right now is getting the audience hooked, the beginning of my story is a bit of a bore.
Overall, my paper is well developed, it just needs some critical thinking added in.

Paper Feedback

Paper Feedback:
My analysis of the first main point and my last main point are solid, the middle is a little blurry, though. I definitely need to work on the analysis as to how my view of the world changed as my taste in movies changed as a middle shcooler. I just need to disect my midle school years, refresh my memory as to what Lizzie McGuire had to do with who I am today. My introduction is a little "disjointed", I need to find a way to get my thesis across in an organized manner, and actually talk about all the points in my thesis. For exmaple, Glee. I never actually mention Glee in the body of my paper, even though it really has changed my view of myself and the world. The introduction of Gkee will take my paper to a new undiscussed area. Also, another BIG problem is my personal view rather than a global view, this is the forst paper I've really written in regards to how something has changed me personally, rather than how it has changed the world as a whole. Personal reflection is the key to writing this paper successfully.